The Four of Cups

Themes: apathy, cynicism, choices, blessing in disguise

My Four of Cups story

When we’re offered a gift, kicking and screaming.

In my late 20s, I was a marketer for a startup that was having trouble getting another round of funding. With money tight, the CEO called my manager into the office and told her to halt all marketing spend for the time being. As gung-ho career women, we wanted to keep moving forward. Since there isn’t much we could do without a budget, she met with the CEO, and asked him what we can do in the meantime. In an off-cuff Knight of Swords-esque remark, the male CEO said:

“I don’t know, you can eat cookies or something.”

My manager was furious — As a feminist, assumptions could be made with his choice of words; that we were not capable women, stereotypical housewives, sitting around eating cookies, and not the professional women we were. When my boss told me about this interaction, I too was furious and demanded a meeting with the HR Director. After speaking with her, she agreed his words were poor, but asserted he meant no ill will. She re-worded the directive to a more friendly, “just relax and chill.”

Dealing with life can be a lesson and a gift

After giving it some thought, we realized there wasn’t much we could do about it, and so we settled into our new routine. We would come into the office, check email, do some no-budget work, and then head off to a two hour lunch. It didn’t take long for us to get comfortable with our new schedule. Without much to do at the office, we began to take our freedom to the next level by cruising the city, getting our nails done, and shopping for jeans downtown.

Not only was it nice to spend time with my manager (who is now a close friend), and go for extended lunches (at times with a beer!); the downtime at the office was something I needed. At the time, we were both going through hard times in our personal lives. While my boss had some health issues, I was going through deep emotional turmoil in a bad breakup that was proving difficult in the decoupling process. There were times when I would sneak into the office meditation room to cry about the situation, or call my friend to complain about my ex’s latest shenanigans. Having the space at work allowed me to not have to go into meetings with a pretend-happy-face, and focus on my feelings and messy love life — all the while, we were being paid our regular salaries.

Accepting the Universe’s medicine

Looking back, I can see how even though my ambitious-side was irritated with the situation, The Universe was actually trying to give us a break. ‘Eating cookies’ was actually a gift, but I couldn’t see the opportunity at first. All I could see was the offensiveness of what was said, and what seemed like a bad option being presented to us.

At times, the Universe gives us what we need, even though we’re kicking and screaming. It wasn’t until years later that I could see how the Universe was trying to help by providing the space to transition me to the next phase of my personal life. I also learned that it’s not always about my career; at times, we gotta focus on ourselves and that’s okay. Now, when the Four of Cups shows up, I try to appreciate whatever medicine is being fed to me. Even if I don’t understand it fully, I attempt to ground into the faith of the Universe. Remembering instances like this reminds me: gifts sometimes come in strange, unexpected packages. And to trust where I’m being led.

For more on this story, read: How to receive like a divine feminist when it’s scary

Rider- Waite Smith Tarot

Four of Cups

The Meaning of The Four of Cups

The Rider Waite-Smith Tarot version of the Four of Cups shows a person sitting below a tree. A hand in a cloud seems to appear out of nowhere, presenting a cup to the person. With their arms crossed, they grumpily reject the magical hand. Three other cups are on the ground, and the person seems resistant towards all of it.

I get it. We all have times in life when we feel like we’re being presented with bad choices. We may feel an array of emotions when the choices are presented to us, such as apathy, annoyance, anger towards what is being presented before us. The Four of Cups is about those times when the Universe is attempting to reach us — with a gift, an opportunity, a lesson or a message — and we may deny it because we’re lost in emotional triggers or the recesses of what we don’t want.

I don’t blame you, because as you can see from my Four of Cups moment, I didn’t see it either. The Four of Cups is like a gift that’s wrapped in an unexpected package — opportunities that are presented to us that aren’t appealing at first. And it may not be some time until we can see that the Universe is actually trying to help.

Open yourself to the choices in front of you

If you’re going through a Four of Cups moment, allow yourself to take a step back, and see if you can notice how the Universe is trying to help with your present circumstance. There are moments in life when we may not be dealt the best hand ever, but what is being presented is meant to bring you to a better place. Allow yourself to open to the choices before you, and you may find that there are more opportunities than you initially could see.

Four of Cups Quotes & Wisdom

“I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it’s only a choice of attitude.”

– Judith M. Knowlton

“Life keeps throwing me stones. And I keep finding the diamonds…”

— Ana Claudia Antune

A blessing in disguise, is right before our eyes. But since it is in disguise, we don’t know that it’s there.

— Lil Wayne

“All you have to do is pay attention: lessons always arrive when you are ready.”

— Paulo Coelho

Intuitively exploring the Four of Cups for yourself

Use the following prompts to explore the card for yourself using any tarot deck

Describe the imagery in the card.
What elements stand out to you?
What do the elements mean to you?
How does the card make you feel?

There are no right or wrong answers when it comes to intuitive exploration. The meanings above are an interpretation of the card, but I encourage you to explore the card for yourself.

A few written paragraphs is not going to apply to everyone, but simply a starting point. Get curious and explore the card for yourself.

Received the Four of Cups?

Additional Journaling Prompts to Ask Yourself

What choices or paths are presented to you at this time? (Journal it out!)
What emotions are arising? Are there roots to these emotions? (eg: triggers that stem from past time experiences, etc)
How could the choices be seen as an opportunity?
How could the choices be a lesson?

Tarot decks pictured in header: (left to right)
Modern Witch Tarot, Rider-Waite Smith Tarot, Tarot of Mystical Moments, The Housewives Tarot